It has, literally, taken me days to get over what happened to my boy Adam Lambert. I watched, aghast, as the wrong person was voted American Idol. But after a night spent tossing and turning and wrestling with the meaning of life, I finally understood. They didn’t get it wrong. They got it right, of course they did. America’s idol HAS to be Kris Allen: He is ordinary, talented enough, conventionally good-looking. Very simply, he will not give you any sleepless nights. In the end, Americans want to be safe and secure in their beds. The rest of the planet wants passion, star power, incandescent talent, chiseled beauty and originality.
When the idiots say Adam Lambert screams, I guess they didn’t hear Feeling Good, Tracks of My Tears and If I Can’t Have You.
When the idiots wonder whether he is gay, I guess they don’t know that their brother, sister, aunt, uncle and give a parent or two may be gay as well. (I take it for granted that the idiots don’t know that being gay isn’t a choice.)
When the idiots say he’s theatrical, I guess they have never watched a great play which they will remember for the rest of their lives.
When the idiots say the judges liked Adam too much, I guess what they really mean is that the judges should have lied so they could have voted for Adam as an underdog and not because he was unusually talented. That’s AI for you.
There is a question on the AI site which reads : ‘Does anyone else feel strangely protective about Adam?’ The reaction he evokes is as unusual as his talent.
Here was a boy who was young, focused, bursting with the kind of ability no one had ever seen before, and who delivered a polished apple to his teacher every single week. We bit and were hungry for more. But some saw the apple with a serpent in its core, complete with ebony fingernails and blue-black hair. They wished for milk instead. They got it. But the rest of the planet got more. We have found Adam Lambert and we will remember him for the rest of our lives. Every future success will be toasted by his acolytes from New Zealand to Israel – that is a large swathe of the planet – and he will by then be No 1 on the fan pages set up by E!Online (he is now No 3, and no, the Idol winner is nowhere to be seen).
I have watched AI for years, been a diehard fan, looked forward to those four months more than birthdays, anniversaries or world travel. Now, I can never watch it again, on a matter of principle. Who wants to see injustice, talent ignored? We have enough of that in our daily lives. Of course my abstinence will mean nothing to AI, but that’s ok, now AI means nothing to me.
One of my favourite lines ever is this: “When a true genius appears in the world, you will know him by this sign, that there will be a confederacy of dunces against him.”
‘Nuff said.
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