People, places and what triggers you to make faces

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen

I'm really not much of a people person. I have very few heroes. Most of whom I don't know but whose work/personas I admire. This week, two of them bit the dust and what can I say, celebrities need to give up on the idea of interviews forevermore.
First of all, we don't want to know you, bro. We want to believe in unicorns and fairy dust and Santa Claus and noble world leaders etc etc. Take Mr Tarantino as my first case in point. He was caught on tape with a British-Indian (maybe that was it) interviewer on the BBC where, when he got tired of being questioned he started ranting and saying things like "I'm not your slave, I'm not your monkey, I'm shutting your butt down." Say what? We know why you are there, as a "commercial for my movie" as Mr T himself said, so maybe you could pay the piper? A truth not universally acknowledged, by the way, is that journalists are bored off their butts doing interviews, too. But they have better manners, and are professional enough to continue doing their jobs.
The second dagger through the heart came from the hands of Gerard Butler. Now to understand the extent of my thralldom to this man, you need to know that my laptop wallpaper is his magnificent Manhattan loft foyer. Yes, some serious stalker shit so you will also be pleased to know that I've come to my senses and replaced it with a Live aquarium. Anyway, Gerry's fall from grace is after his appalling interview with Howard Stern yesterday - which itself was a dead giveaway, of course. Where he said he slept with pseudo-celeb Brandi Glanville and explained why he replied with the immortal line: "Who's Brandi Glanville?" when the paps asked if had done the deed with the lady. You see, he simply didn't know her last name. It was just, and I quote, a bit of afternoon fun.
Sweet Mother Mary.
That is not the worst of it. On his new FB page, an ardent female admirer has posted: Your last interview with Howard Stern - well done, had a good laugh.
Am I living in a parallel universe?

Friday, March 8, 2013

Hmmmm

At a divorce court in an Indian city, they had these two quotes up in the waiting room, staring down at the hapless, not to say captive, audience:

"Divorce is like amputation. You survive but there is less of you." - Margaret Atwood.

"When embarking on a journey of revenge first dig two graves." - Confucius.