People, places and what triggers you to make faces

Thursday, March 10, 2016

My boy Leo & the Oscars

Leo DiCaprio has always fascinated me. The stories they tell about him, the way he has kept the same friends he's had since forever, how he doesn't take any woman apart from his mother seriously, his instinctive genius when it comes to his craft. There's just something unique about him. It's almost as though he's pretending to be human - and I mean that in the best way, humans are scum - when he's actually from somewhere beyond the stars.
That he got an Oscar is a double-edged sword. Maybe he wanted it, maybe he didn't care, but it almost seemed as though there would have been riots if they HADN'T given him one this year, like bonbons you're handing out after dinner, so it really does take away from the seriousness of it all. From the very beginning with What's Eating Gilbert Grape? to Blood Diamond to Wolf of Wall Street to Inception to Gangs of New York to, hell, what has he been in where he hasn't shone like a crazy diamond? he should have got 6 Oscars by now. I think awards are daft, as the marvellous Mark Rylance insinuated. His face in the bridge scene of Spies got him that statuette btw, which was the reason Leo should have got one for the way he turned to the camera in the FIRST scene of The Aviator, or the look in his eyes when Armie Hammer kissed him in J Edgar for that matter. Sometimes it is literally a moment that wins the highest accolade for an actor, (Judi Dench in Shakespeare in Love), a bit of an insult when you think the rest of the cast spent almost 2 hours for nothing.
I wait for Leo's next venture, although something he said on the Red Carpet made me wonder if he was thinking of moving on. I hope not. He is one of three reasons for me to get out of bed every morning.
Oscars2016 was interesting for many reasons. Chris Rock's opening monologue was brilliant but he should have stopped there. As a comedian how do you forget the nuances of timing? And going on ad nauseam about black and white Hollywood to the very people who pit one against the other, or worse, disregard one in favour of the other (it works both ways, surprise), was ungracious. You made your point, now get on with the entertainment, please.
I loved the speeches this year. Leo, who instead of talking about himself, spoke about humanity, Inarritu who spoke about the stupidity of thinking Colour instead of thinking Human, the incomparable Louis CK who, presenting the award for Best Documentary Short of all things, was both funny and clever.
Best-dressed, Male: Pharrell, cool from his blond crop to his rolled-up trousers and still elegant.
Best-dressed, Female: Jennifer Garner. Not sticking to the cookie-cutter style Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet choose every appearance works big time.
Best Performance: Lady Gaga
Worst performance and much Twitter tangle later: Sam Smith.

Flat but still fabulous

MAC Cosmetics has a reputation for having the best products worldwide - and the worst customer relationships. Any Youtuber will relate the horror stories but it's so strange because they're all the same. That when you walk into a store and if there are just 2 other women there (the men are part of the sales team if at all present), the staff will completely ignore you. The usual line when they deign to acknowledge your presence is "I'll be with you in a minute. Just let me finish here." If they've been taught the spiel you'd think they would also have been taught not to then proceed to giggle and talk and then saunter through various product aisles and then giggle some more. All I wanted on the day I went was a lipstick. After waiting 5 minutes or so I asked the cleaning lady if there was even one other rep in the store. She called someone from the back. What was everybody waiting for? Just point me towards Lady Danger, honey, I wanted to say, and I'll make my own way to the cash counter. The rep was polite, if cold, (which is ok, I'm not here to make you my BFF), got me what I wanted and I was on my way. But you don't want to be pissed when you're shopping for the Holy Grail, do you. Which, in case you were wondering, was in this case a chalice brimming with
Lady D, Rebel & Flatout Fabulous. The fact that I fled the scene with only one I would count as both my loss and MAC's.