Ruby Woo, where are you?

Rude shock while watching Discovery: Saw a couple of women archaeologists who looked like they had just been unearthed themselves. Would a touch of lipstick have hurt? A few lashings of mascara? An Ed Hardy Tee perhaps? What, they have more to think about, like the WORLD, than make-up? You must be thinking about some other world, not the one we live in.

Oscars and unfair things

The Oscars this year was unexpected. There was real emotion in the air, not the fake chatter that often mimics the profession the show celebrates. There was Patricia Arquette asking for equal pay, and Meryl Streep shouting Yes! from the front row. There was Inarritu pleading for decent behavior towards immigrants from a country OF immigrants. There was Graham Moore winning for Best Adapted Screenplay for “The Imitation Game”, saying:

“Alan Turing never got to stand on a stage like this and look out at all of these disconcertingly attractive faces. And I do. And that’s the most unfair thing I think I’ve ever heard. So in this brief time here, what I want to use it to do is to say this: When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself, because I felt weird and I felt different, and I felt like (I) did not belong. And now I’m standing here, and so I would like this moment to be for that kid who’s out there who feels weird or feels different or feels she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Yes you do. I promise you do.”

In a world filled with unfair things, this moment of honesty was not just moving but highlighted the most absurd facet of human civilization, this ostrich-in-the-sand outlook about an issue that has been around since the dawn of our benighted species, is still apparent in nature and is nobody’s business but that of the parties concerned, except when there’s paedophilia or something involved. You see, those who don’t rail against gay love can at the same time be activists against real evil. Didn’t know that, did you.

This weird problem with homosexuality will one day go the way of the Berlin Wall but until then, people will die, not just be ostracized and bullied and sneered at, and for nothing but other people’s perceptions.

Anti-Racism seems another lost cause if it is still being fought against in, of all places, America. It seems so basic but even in a country which is so good at PR that many still believe it stands for justice, in a country like this, racism is endemic in 2015. So when Common and John Legend sang ‘Glory’, we all wept. (Aside, for Mr Inarritu: Yes, in a country of immigrants, other immigrants should be made welcome, but this is only true if you are a White immigrant, Aryan white.)

You can’t even argue about why racism makes no sense; religion makes no sense but who has ever won an argument over it with the faithful?

What was shocking, in terms of Oscar glory or lack thereof, was Michael Keaton losing Best Actor to Eddy Redmayne, (marvelous I grant you but hasn’t Daniel Day-Lewis already been there, done that?). He didn’t leave a trail of stars which will never reappear the way Keaton did in “Birdman”. But you know, a world filled with unfair things…..

Now onto what really mattered, the dresses. Yeah, sorry, this is the most one-sided, unfair thing of all because men are just boring in matters sartorial.

BEST-DRESSED

Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab, looking like a statuette herself in those golden hues with accompanying blushing tones.

Scarlett Johansson in Versace, with green stones around her neck that looked ocean-gathered and a hairstyle that hinted at wild, wild child.

Jennifer Aniston wearing Versace that was so simple and elegant and perfect for her because it glowed and showcased a real woman’s body, which really is what Aniston is all about, realness. This is a woman who is so warm that she saturates everything around her, even hugging Emma Stone in gleeful abandon. Can’t imagine another actress on the Red Carpet doing something like that.

Gwyneth Paltrow, who consciously coupled with Ralph&Russo and looked pretty-out-of-orbit-in-a-good-way in pink.

Lady Gaga’s performance (and interaction with What-a-Dame Julie Andrews) was the talk of the town, rightfully so, (um, I thought she was a performer not a singer), but dear me, that Alaia dress. Like someone had dropped miles of heavy material in a corner of the room which then took on a life form. About as bad as the curtain Chloe Moritz wore and the origami wrapped around Viola Davis. Tut tut.

But the last two words on my mind are simply: Ed Norton. What a way to play; his “Birdman” piece was virtuoso. Also, I would date him.

Birdman Rising

Every so often, a movie will come along that works like a magic sequence for its once-forgotten star, and for the unique message it carries. It happened last with Mickey Rourke in ‘The Wrestler’. The same Mickey who made films that went into the archives they were so damn good; ‘A Prayer for the Dying’, ‘9 ½ Weeks’, ‘Wild Orchid’, even ‘Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man’. And yet, circumstances and bad judgement stuttered his career until Darren Aronofsky came along.

Michael Keaton found Alejandro González Iñárritu in the same serendipitous way. ‘Birdman’ isn’t without its flaws, but the claws it rakes through your heart is what you will take away with you, and it will throb dully for years to come.

The movie is about a forgotten movie star who is trying to make a mark in theatre. His cast is made up of a young, arrogant Brando type whose talent and hubris battle for supremacy, actresses who are struggling for a foothold in both his and the audience’s memory, and a daughter and wife who still love him despite his self-obsession. What makes ‘Birdman’ a movie that people are talking about is how cleverly this cast plays its parts. Ed Norton is sublime. He’s always been the kind of actor who looks like a dreamy poet but who can bring a coldness out and place it before your frightened eyes in an instant. While you tremble, not knowing what will come next, he can either soothe your fluttering pulses or crush your hopes. ‘Birdman’ is better than ‘Fight Club’ and ‘The Hulk’ in displaying Norton’s powers, you hate and love him in equal measure and no one displays narcissism better than he does. An actor playing an actor is about as difficult a thing as you can imagine, and if it wasn’t for the blazing meteor that’s Keaton, you would remember no one else, even with the towering Naomi Watts and Emma Stone around.

It’s Keaton’s baby, though. As Riggan, he is broken, angry, bewildered but will not give up, so will either be Sisyphus or a phoenix rising. Riggan is aware of the importance of marketing, so understands how to play his part, both personal and professional, but self-doubt is his real exacting mistress, one who whispers in the dead of night, “Honey, your best days are behind you, only I’m here, now.”

It’s not that Riggan doesn’t see what the world is and what he has become, but his vanity, that oh-so-crucial part for those whose lives revolve around being someone else and believing they can do that better than the next guy, is both crippling and well-founded, an uncomfortable pairing at the best of times.

A clever one is when Riggan’s daughter Sam (Stone) shows him the power of social media and life as a reality show (which is the real enemy of actors and celebs and ordinary Joes; talk about losing the plot when it comes to figuring out what actually matters in your daily grind and what is a circus), more relevant today than it was when Keaton was making his mark with ‘Batman’ and ‘Beetlejuice’.

So what is the flaw in Iñárritu’s genius? It’s subjective. I loathe open endings. For God’s sake, isn’t my life’s open ending bad enough? I don’t want to be subjected to it in the movies. The last scene of ‘Birdman’ is maddening. What really happened? and damn your metaphors.

But I would still encourage everyone to see it. Its genius is that this is not just a movie with a tragi-comic story well told, but an expose on human frailty and its hardcore steel twin, the visual emotional mirror to our actual twisted DNA. I think this is what makes our species ultimately a thing to admire. It’s ‘Birdman’ that makes you believe we possess it.