The Theory of Men

It’s a pity that not one but count ‘em TWO people were snoring in the cinema hall half-way through The Theory of Everything about one of the greatest thinkers in the cosmos. This is less a reflection on humanity and more a sad glance towards director James Marsh. An homage to the dude who tackled the concept of Time and you are responsible for making it lag? I wouldn’t want to be you, James, any time soon.

I understand the movie wanted to focus on the relationship between Stephen and Jane but where is the work this man is renowned for? You can’t give me a clichéd image of cream swirling in a coffee cup, yes, yes, brilliant morphing into the Milky Way, and even present the dynamics between the Hawkings as the most milk-and-water bilge running down the drain, and expect me to be satisfied.

But the extraordinary portrayal by Eddie Redmayne lifted this experience to the realm of unforgettable, it has to be said. There is just one scene where I think Marsh showed a certain grasp of his subject matter, and that’s when Stephen/Eddie uncoils at a lecture and imagines an act as simple – and undoable, for him – as bending down to get a pen and return it to its owner. It’s a point where you see both how Eddie transformed himself for this role and how Stephen suffers every single day.

Charlie Cox was wonderful, the emotional suffering he presents almost matches Stephen’s physical one (almost, because nothing can ever do that).  I’ll never forget Firdaus Kanga asking Hawking, “What do you think is the best thing about being disabled?” And Stephen replying, “I don’t think there is anything good about being disabled.” You want to believe there is some reason for the fresh horrors that rain down on your head every other day, but you know what, there isn’t. It’s all a random collision of matter and circumstance, much as the beginning of the universe that Hawking has roamed to its farthest reaches in his mind, while his body has remained so cruelly tethered.
So unfortunate, then, that all this movie showed me was 1. The smartest men are seriously dumb when it comes to women, and 2. Harry Lloyd is hot.